Asia Tips & Tools

I Want To Travel But My Boyfriend Doesn’t

So You Want To Travel

So you want to travel but the person you’re with doesn’t. When I was in my early twenties I knew before anything that I wanted to travel. I’d had a chunk of flesh robbed from me by the deadly travel bug and that was the best thing that could’ve happen to me. I wanted to travel the world and was convinced I would, starting in Seoul. I had a plan, which was really no plan at all (the best kind).

About a month before I was booked to fly out to Korea I met up with my ex-long-term boyfriend. We walked and talked for hours. Soon enough we were back together and it felt right. But I was flying to Korea in few weeks! We decided to do the long distance thing and it actually worked for about a year. After my first year in Seoul I realised how much the relationship was holding me back from enjoying my journey and new life. Instead of going out with the friends I’d made, I be Skyping him. Instead of going off to be the life of the party everyone was at, I was barricaded in my one-room Facebook messaging him. I was scared to be out and around other guys because he got jealous easily. I’d rather stay cooped up inside than risk my relationship. Looking back it was silly, ridiculous and if anything my doing this made things worse for us. But I thought it was the only way.

As summer came round, the end of my first year drew to a close. I began having regrets about my first year, all the things I didn’t do, the time I’d wasted. Deciding to start a relationship just before moving halfway across the world probably wasn’t the best move. It was crippling to realise this because we’d tried to make it work and had been together for several years by this point. He’d even come to see me in Seoul twice already. I just couldn’t do it anymore, especially because I’d decided to stay in Seoul another year and had no plans of returning to London anytime soon. I knew it had to end.

Mind you we’d already had our fair share of issues and had previously broken up while I was living in the Redwood Forest (that place can change a girl.) It just wasn’t our time, again, and I was beginning to think it never would be. I wanted someone to travel and explore the world with, to potentially travel permanently and live on the road with. He on the other hand did not want this. Travelling is life for me and it comes as part of the package. Anyone who doesn’t understand or respect that can’t be a part of this journey.

So I ask you: What do you want? Are you willing to give up your life of travel for this person? Because that is okay, if you are okay with it. But if you think in your dying days, somewhere way down the line, that having not travelled will be one of your biggest regrets, you might need to rethink this. I honestly believe that if two people, more than anything, want to be together they will no doubt find a way to make it happen. If your relationship can’t survive a little distance, it’s probably not as solid as it seems and if your partner can’t support your dreams they’re probably not the right one for you.

I also made a video on this topic full of tips and alternative options if this is a decision you’re struggling with:

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